Empathy Map

Empathy Map

This blog post is about empathy. Excuse the cliché but, as someone who is ESL, I like to look up definitions, just to make sure nothing gets lost in translation. Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Ok then, let’s get personal.

For this exercise I’ve chosen a boss I once had- maybe a long time ago, maybe not too long ago. Although we did become close during the time I worked for him, I wouldn’t say I know his deepest darkest secrets, so it will be challenging to think about him beyond the surface level. Let’s call him Michael, that name really does suit him.

I’ll try to tell you about Michael as we navigate thought the six dimensions of this empathy map, but let’s first set a very basic picture: Michael is 42 years old, he is a group manager at a Fortune 500 company, tall and very thin (which makes him look boyish sometimes), he is gay, and comes from a conservative white catholic family.

1. What does he think and feel?

For Michael his career is the most important thing in his life. He is not in a committed relationship and does not live near any family. There is no doubt work is the number one priority in his life. He has been successful in this area of his life, he has a great reputation in the workplace as someone who drives for results and gets the job done. When it comes down to it- his record is clean. He is a demanding manager, and is known for expecting a lot from his employees both in positive and slightly negative ways.

He is smart, and knows it. People often say that to him. He graduated from an ivy-league university and he loves to bring that up in conversation. He was just promoted and is looking 2-3 promotions ahead. He is very ambitious, very dedicated, and yes, very smart.

Fitness is also important, he regularly goes to private training appointments after work, and eats at fancy organic places for lunch. His lifestyle in general is pretty high-end; nice car, nice restaurants, and nice suits. Definitely values his social life, although he mainly hangs out with younger people. Michael has lots of friends, and still parties like he is 20.

He is also a highly private person- no photos in his cube, no real details of his weekend, no mention of his boyfriend. What people know, they know from gossip. In fact, not that many people know that he is gay.

He worries about his work performance, and weather or not he is producing work that is timely and relevant. He is thorough and detail-oriented. He aspires to become a VP at his company and maybe someday raise a family, although he isn’t too concerned or too hopeful in that area of his life.

2. What does he see?

He lives in a young professional environment both on and off the clock. He works downtown around a lot of office-life oriented businesses and his day-to-day interactions are with people 22-40 years old. He lives in a very hip part of town in a nice expensive apartment  I would imagine few people his age are his neighbors. Like I said, he frequents really trendy young places with his trendy young friends.

As far as what the Market offers- he utilizes great solutions for his lifestyle. For example, he hates to shop, so he orders everything he owns from GILT, Fab, or Amazon. He is also an Uber fan (peer cab app), which allows him to party like a rock star and not have to deal with driving, or getting a cab at 2:00 am. There are many good services that align with his single urban man life and he lives in a city that meets his requirements of entertainment options.

3. What does he say and do?

Michael is a funny guy. He is serious and high achieving, but he is witty and has a great sense of humor. He is friendly and confident in public; his attitude does not change in a professional or social environment. Like I mentioned before he is a very private person.

He is kind to others and generally well liked, but he has strong opinion. Like I said, he knows he is smart and that can sometimes come out as condescending, but I wouldn’t say it’s an overwhelming flaw either. He does like to be right and in control.

4. What does he hear?

Many of the things I mention he hears from friends and bosses- he is smart, funny and driven. His friends have similar goals, priorities, and interests and since he does not have a spouse or children to share his life with, his friends are a huge and influential part of his life.

He listens to a great multitude of influencers- he likes to be up to date on current events. That means, news, world events, fashion, trends, fads, and city life. Some examples of influences he seeks are the New York Times, Buzzfeed, Huffington Post, and city blogs.

Politically he is liberal and has strong opinions on topics such as gay rights, immigration, and sometimes religion. So he follows and hears from sources that reinforce his lifestyle and values.

5. What are his pain points?

The next two questions are the hardest because we will be making a ton of assumptions about Michael, and I almost hesitate to fill in these gaps, but here we go.

Michael fears professional failure. He also fears commitment on a personal level. He fears getting older, and feeling irrelevant. He fears been judged for his personal life and not his professional performance.

Michael is frustrated with the constraints of his environment. For example, the fact that the people he works with don’t always have work as their number one priority (sometimes it’s kids, or a wife, or a boyfriend, or even a dog.). In many ways he feels the same about people outside the workplace, many of his friends are getting married, settling down, and are slowly not so on board with his world.

6. What does he hope to gain?

Michael wants change and for things to stay the same at the same time.

He is frustrated because he knows he is smart and capable but still needs to be patient and “play the game”. He has played it and played it well for a long time, but it’s getting to a point where he feels stuck and patience is running out and he has earned a promotion- he wants/needs a way to feel valued by the company and for them to realize his contributions and potential.

He also wants to feel young and constantly reassured that he is still living the exact lifestyle he wants and not settling because the world around him says he has to.

He will measure success by feedback from his boss- promotion, more responsibility, more exposure etc. And by how relevant he and those around him think he is, an example would be someone asking him where the coolest new bar is, or what hot indie band is coming into town this weekend.

So there it is, a very presumptuous look at the persona version of my boss. I think if Michael were to read this post he would probably think the good things said were absolutely true, and think the negative things had no truth to them at all. But he would also have excellently crafted counter arguments that would probably make me retract half of this post.